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Undefiled The Sex Handbook for Married Couples

The Philosophy of Marraige

We do not stay together, because we agree on everything, but because we share the same values.

We do not achieve marital unity and joy by insisting on self-realisation, but rather by giving of oneself and being willing to compromise on the frivolous concepts and false expectations that we bring into marriage.

A paradigm only falls when it is acknowledged as such - and that takes humility. Being humble enough to admit that most of your ideas are based on cultural conditioning, your experiences and the flawed examples of fallible people, is the first step in finding marital unitiy.

Few things bring about wisdom and the power of self-management, as do the ability to see through the eyes of another.

An excerpt from Chapter 7 (p 164)

Sex is many things in a marriage, but there are some things it is definitely not:

* It is not a duty that must be endured

* It is not a right that can be claimed

* It is not a tool for manipulation

* It is not a reward for good behaviour, or getting your way

* It may not be withheld as punishment, or for not getting your way

* It is not a way to yield power over your spouse

* It may never be used to humiliate

More about the Author

MELENEY B. KRIEL

Undefiled - The Sex Handbook for Married Couples is the second book about sexuality written by Meleney Kriel. Her first book "Healing the Trauma of Sexual Abuse" was published in the UK in 2000.

Meleney Kriel offers advice from years of experience as a counsellor and from her own experience in marriage and her first hand knowledge of the effects of sexual abuse on marriage relationships. Restored sexuality is a theme close to her heart as she has walked the road to healing herself.

She spends much time in research and bases her work on a sound exegesis of the Scriptures. She has a keen sense of humour, but a no-nonsense approach to the subject. She pulls out all the stops when she believes that a matter is best served when she tells it like it is, but at the same time, she achieves a fine balance between frankness and sensitivity.

She has been married for 25 years to Leon Kriel and they have 3 children, two adult sons and a teenage daughter.

Leon and Meleney got married 3 hours after graduating from Bible college and are both ordained ministers. They spent years as missionaries in Africa and Europe and presently are involved in a charity that they founded (The Viva Foundation) with the aim to promote Christian values and alleviate poverty. Meleney is also the CEO of another charity Berakah Educational Foundation, providing upliftment through education.

Meleney is a singer and recorded two Gospel albums "Some say Love" and "Run to You". She is involved in the worship department of Hatfield Christian Church, singing in one of the worship teams as well as teaching piano in the Novo Factories at HCC.

She has written a novel "Sticks and Stones" which she hopes to publish this year.